Dear Sexpert Guru, My man cant eat pussy to save his life.

English: Shaved vagina of a female clearly sho...

English: Shaved vagina of a female clearly showing labia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

marker A: vaginal opening, marker B: clitoris

marker A: vaginal opening, marker B: clitoris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Vagina Muschi Pussy Kitzler Klitoris

English: Vagina Muschi Pussy Kitzler Klitoris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Clitoris

English: Clitoris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had a client come to me asking for help because her man just hasnt learned how too eat the pussy adequately. Of course being the kind of therapist I am I found an article to help coach all those non pussy eating dudes out there because everyone knows women eat pussy better than a man anyway.

  • I find the best opening move is what I like to call the warm up. I like to start at the top of her vagina by taking her clitoris in my mouth. Then I start licking and sucking her from top to bottom I give her 5 or more long slow licks over her entire vagina. This helps to get the whole thing wet and lets her know right from the start that you plan on licking 100% of the pussy because you know licking one spot the entire times only numbs the pussy.

Do not spit on the pussy, unless you KNOW your lady likes being spat on. Spitting is not something you should ever assume. If you need to get her vagina wet, simply add more spit to your mouth and lick her pussy while making sure you leave the saliva behind. Why spit on her when you can use your tongue to actually place wetness on her directly?

Stop poking and probing around with your fingers. While fingers are very important during oral sex, two things men should do is make sure we have washed out hands before touching the pussy and know how she likes to be touched. This is extremely important because some women like being poked others like being rubbed. Knowing this information will affect her orgasm directly.

Never stop licking her vagina, to only use your hands. Tongue finger combo is dope, but only hands is stupid. I like to take my pointer finger and my ring finger and place them on her lips and push them together in order to push her clit out a little more. Then I rub her clit with my middle finger while licking the bottom part of her pussy. Try that, do it right, and you’ll make her fall in love.

Also we need to remember to move around. While her vagina isn’t that big, it’s important to change up the motion of your tongue and the position of your tongue. If a man licks the same spot with the same oral motion she’ll be come numb. So switch up your licking method and your licking position. Tap her clit, lick her lips, draw circles on her lower lips, while making O’s on her outer lips. Suck her clit, then graze her lips while forcefully lick left to right on the rest of her.

Basically switch up your tongue movement ever so often. Be like Obama and give her change. Change your tongue movement and stop trying to say the alphabet on her pussy because you saw it in a comedy show. That shit doesn’t really work.

I found this article useful and humorous but please fellas give it a try because you don’t want a girl like me to come along and steal your girl away from you, now do you?

 

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